Mind your own business aunty, please. (Repost)

It’s a repost with some additional characteristics of the aunties 😀

It seems these ladies are born to keep an eye on their neighbour’s home. And they do it so well! They are always more concerned about their pados ke ghar – what have they cooked for dinner, where they are headed to, or how their washing powder provides an immaculate whiteness to their T-shirts. These types of species have an inborn talent of spying.  She would be knowing each and every detail of what’s happening in your home, without your knowledge! I wish I too possessed this awesome talent of spying, so that I’d know what question papers are being set by our teachers for exam, you know. Or maybe these aunties themselves have some mystical powers due to which they can observe the happenings of your home in a big crystal ball. It is also possible that she might have installed a secret camera in one of the flower pots in your home. Or she might be having an alien creature resembling Jaadu , Which impeccably does the work of spying for her.

When your door bell rings, she rushes to peek through her window. She always keeps an eye on who visits your home, and then would make guesses about the identity of the visitor. It keeps troubling her if she’s not able to guess it correctly. As a tactful woman, she would intentionally come to your home in the name of asking for sugar, tomato or milk. Reason? She wants to know who visited your home in the morning. She would involve you in her talks so cunningly that she’ll make you reveal the much needed info about that visitor. And then she calms down.

Oh, and how can we forget their basic art of spreading rumours! “You know I heard ___’s daughter talking on phone with a guy. I saw ___’s son hanging out with a girl. I think there’s cooking something between them.” Every aunty listens to the piece of gossip, adds her own twist to it, and passes on to the next until it becomes a sensational topic of your area.

She notices every single detail of the attire your mother wears. Millions of questions would collide in her mind about the dress –  the stuff it is made up of, at what price she bought it, from where she bought it and why she (aunty) never came across such a piece. She will always have a loyal liking towards your mum’s clothes. She would inquire everything about the piece and then would picture herself in that dress. But she will not get the same dress stitched for her fearing that her padosan (neighbour) will accuse her of copying her dress.

They are everywhere! There’s absolutely no escaping them. Try hiding from them at public places or gatherings – they WILL find you out. And if she’s a Punjabi, well, I don’t need to describe that. Everyone knows!

The most annoying habit of these pados ki aunties is the way they talk. Actually they don’t talk, they Scream!  She would talk merrily about what her husband gifted her, from where she got her imported lipstick and other pompous matters – ignoring the fact that the children may be studying, sleeping or facebooking (even that needs a calmer atmosphere). She would lower her tone as soon as she starts to gossip about another padosan, because even walls can hear, you know. “Mrs. Sharma fought with her husband yesterday” and then she would elaborate the voices she heard coming out of their home.

It’s hard to ignore them. Everytime you see her, you’ve to greet her saying “Namastey“, while in your head you might be saying “Aa gyi firse” (there she comes again). You have to maintain your etiquettes in front of her because who knows she might make an issue out of it!  “Mrs. ____ ke bachon ko toh tameez hi nahi hai” (Mrs ____’s children absolutely have no manners) , she might declare it in front of other aunties. She can prove dangerous for your family ki izzat (reputation). Beware, people!
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The writer is feeling relieved after venting out her frustration on her blog. She hopes that none of her aunt comes across this piece of bashing against them. 😉

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