Mind your own business aunty, please. (Repost)

It’s a repost with some additional characteristics of the aunties 😀

It seems these ladies are born to keep an eye on their neighbour’s home. And they do it so well! They are always more concerned about their pados ke ghar – what have they cooked for dinner, where they are headed to, or how their washing powder provides an immaculate whiteness to their T-shirts. These types of species have an inborn talent of spying.  She would be knowing each and every detail of what’s happening in your home, without your knowledge! I wish I too possessed this awesome talent of spying, so that I’d know what question papers are being set by our teachers for exam, you know. Or maybe these aunties themselves have some mystical powers due to which they can observe the happenings of your home in a big crystal ball. It is also possible that she might have installed a secret camera in one of the flower pots in your home. Or she might be having an alien creature resembling Jaadu , Which impeccably does the work of spying for her.

When your door bell rings, she rushes to peek through her window. She always keeps an eye on who visits your home, and then would make guesses about the identity of the visitor. It keeps troubling her if she’s not able to guess it correctly. As a tactful woman, she would intentionally come to your home in the name of asking for sugar, tomato or milk. Reason? She wants to know who visited your home in the morning. She would involve you in her talks so cunningly that she’ll make you reveal the much needed info about that visitor. And then she calms down.

Oh, and how can we forget their basic art of spreading rumours! “You know I heard ___’s daughter talking on phone with a guy. I saw ___’s son hanging out with a girl. I think there’s cooking something between them.” Every aunty listens to the piece of gossip, adds her own twist to it, and passes on to the next until it becomes a sensational topic of your area.

She notices every single detail of the attire your mother wears. Millions of questions would collide in her mind about the dress –  the stuff it is made up of, at what price she bought it, from where she bought it and why she (aunty) never came across such a piece. She will always have a loyal liking towards your mum’s clothes. She would inquire everything about the piece and then would picture herself in that dress. But she will not get the same dress stitched for her fearing that her padosan (neighbour) will accuse her of copying her dress.

They are everywhere! There’s absolutely no escaping them. Try hiding from them at public places or gatherings – they WILL find you out. And if she’s a Punjabi, well, I don’t need to describe that. Everyone knows!

The most annoying habit of these pados ki aunties is the way they talk. Actually they don’t talk, they Scream!  She would talk merrily about what her husband gifted her, from where she got her imported lipstick and other pompous matters – ignoring the fact that the children may be studying, sleeping or facebooking (even that needs a calmer atmosphere). She would lower her tone as soon as she starts to gossip about another padosan, because even walls can hear, you know. “Mrs. Sharma fought with her husband yesterday” and then she would elaborate the voices she heard coming out of their home.

It’s hard to ignore them. Everytime you see her, you’ve to greet her saying “Namastey“, while in your head you might be saying “Aa gyi firse” (there she comes again). You have to maintain your etiquettes in front of her because who knows she might make an issue out of it!  “Mrs. ____ ke bachon ko toh tameez hi nahi hai” (Mrs ____’s children absolutely have no manners) , she might declare it in front of other aunties. She can prove dangerous for your family ki izzat (reputation). Beware, people!
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The writer is feeling relieved after venting out her frustration on her blog. She hopes that none of her aunt comes across this piece of bashing against them. 😉

I suffered a Heartbreak.

That one pair of heels you’ve always wished to have. Those for whom you’ve searched every possible affordable place. One day, you come across THE SAME on an online shopping site. Your heart begins to palpitate out of sheer joy. Upon visualizing yourself in those heels embellishing your dress, your eyes glow with a buoyant delight. After a long gaze at the screen, you proceed to the size chart to confirm your foot size only to realize the heels are out of stock. 😦

Bird Of Hope..

She was walking along the street towards her home when suddenly a bird out of nowhere, fell harshly before her on the cemented floor. It landed on the street with a loud thump. Panic – stricken, she abruptly dodged and retraced her steps. After detecting it was a bird, she stooped to examine it.

It was a beautiful sparrow, with shining eyes and exquisitely multicoloured wings. One could see the perfect blend of different colours aligned in an intricate manner. But those bewitching wings were gravely mutilated. Perhaps, the sparrow was grappling with the mighty eagle in the sky.

It needed immediate nursing. She held it with tenderness trying not to harm the wretched bird. The groans of the poor creature were quivering her hands. Hastily, she walked to her home and comforted the sparrow with first – aid. She covered her wounds gently. It would help to mitigate the pain, she thought. To help it recover its senses, she fed it with water. She caressed its soft body compassionately.

In the following days, she devoted herself to nursing the bird. She attended to all its needs with warmth. After a constant care and attention of a week, it restored back to being hale and hearty.

After being sure of its health, she thought to release it from the confined surroundings. It surely wanted to fly. She walked to the street holding the bird in her hands. “Goodbye dear”, she murmured as she kissed it. She finally released it from her grip. The sparrow took a flight of joy as it glided in the sky. To her surprise, it came back, encircled her, and flew back to its path. She stood there, smiling, as the bird soared high in its world, and finally faded away.

(Dedicated to my friend, Snigdha)

🙂

If I could be invisible..

If I get a chance to be invisible, the first thing I would do is to enter Nestle’s factory to know what secret ingredient they use in Maggi, which makes it so incredibly delicious!

Second venture would be into Cadbury’s Dairy Milk factory, for the same reason.

Third thing I’d do is to slap some jerks really hard, who roam on the streets the entire day like stray beings, and then come begging to copy assignments from others.

What would you do if you get a chance to be invisible?

Dad’s long awaited wish got fulfilled..

The girl who used to stick to Page 3 news every time she caught hold of a newspaper, read its highly intellectual front page for the first time.
Politics! Yes, the term that has always haunted me. Had it not been the assignment given to us, I’d have never dared to read the front page. I’m marking this day as a momentous one.
Dad says I should be awarded for this daring act 😀

Mind your own business Aunty, please.

It seems these ladies are born to keep an eye on their neighbour’s home. And they do it so well! They are always more concerned about their pados ke ghar – what have they cooked for dinner, where are they going, or how their washing powder provides an immaculate whiteness to their T-shirts. These types of species have an inborn talent of spying.  She would be knowing each and every detail of what’s happening in your home, without your knowledge! I wish I too possessed this awesome talent of spying, so that I would know what question papers are being set by our teachers for exam, you know. Or maybe these aunties themselves have some mystical powers due to which they can observe the happenings of your home in a big crystal ball. It is also possible that she might have installed a secret camera in one of the flower pots in your home. Or she might be having an alien creature resembling Jaadu, Which impeccably does the work of spying for her.

When your door bell rings, she rushes to her door even before you can. She always keeps an eye on who visits your home, and then  would make guesses about the identity of the visitor. It keeps troubling her if she is not able to guess it rightly. As a tactful woman, she would intentionally come to your home in the name of asking for sugar, tomato or milk. Reason? She wants to know who visited your home in the morning. She would involve you in her talks so cunningly that she’ll make you reveal the much needed info about that visitor. And then she calms down.

She notices every single detail of the attire your mother wears. Millions of questions would collide in her mind about the dress – like the stuff it is made up of, at what price she bought it, from where she bought it and why she (aunty) never came across such a piece. She will always have a loyal liking towards your mum’s clothes. She would inquire everything about the piece and then would picture herself in that dress. But she will not get the same dress stitched for her fearing that her padosan (neighbour) will accuse her for copying her dress.

The most annoying habit of these pados ki aunties is the way they talk. Actually they don’t talk, they Scream!  She would talk merrily about what her husband gifted her, from where she got her imported lipstick and other pompous matters – ignoring the fact that the children may be studying, sleeping or facebooking (even that needs a calmer atmosphere). She would lower her tone as soon as she starts to gossip about another padosan, because even walls can hear, you know. “Mrs. Sharma fought with her husband yesterday” and then she would elaborate about the voices she heard coming out of their home.

It’s hard to ignore them. Everytime you see her, you have to greet her saying “Namastey“, while in your head you might be saying “Aa gyi firse“. You have to maintain your etiquettes in front of her because who knows she might make an issue out of it!  “Mrs. ____ ke bachon ko toh tameez hi nahi hai“, she might declare it in front of other aunties. She can prove dangerous for your family ki izzat. Beware, people!
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The writer still wonders if her padosan has some unusual dark powers. Or maybe the writer herself possess such powers due to which she is able to read her mind. 😉