Mind your own business Aunty, please.

It seems these ladies are born to keep an eye on their neighbour’s home. And they do it so well! They are always more concerned about their pados ke ghar – what have they cooked for dinner, where are they going, or how their washing powder provides an immaculate whiteness to their T-shirts. These types of species have an inborn talent of spying.  She would be knowing each and every detail of what’s happening in your home, without your knowledge! I wish I too possessed this awesome talent of spying, so that I would know what question papers are being set by our teachers for exam, you know. Or maybe these aunties themselves have some mystical powers due to which they can observe the happenings of your home in a big crystal ball. It is also possible that she might have installed a secret camera in one of the flower pots in your home. Or she might be having an alien creature resembling Jaadu, Which impeccably does the work of spying for her.

When your door bell rings, she rushes to her door even before you can. She always keeps an eye on who visits your home, and then  would make guesses about the identity of the visitor. It keeps troubling her if she is not able to guess it rightly. As a tactful woman, she would intentionally come to your home in the name of asking for sugar, tomato or milk. Reason? She wants to know who visited your home in the morning. She would involve you in her talks so cunningly that she’ll make you reveal the much needed info about that visitor. And then she calms down.

She notices every single detail of the attire your mother wears. Millions of questions would collide in her mind about the dress – like the stuff it is made up of, at what price she bought it, from where she bought it and why she (aunty) never came across such a piece. She will always have a loyal liking towards your mum’s clothes. She would inquire everything about the piece and then would picture herself in that dress. But she will not get the same dress stitched for her fearing that her padosan (neighbour) will accuse her for copying her dress.

The most annoying habit of these pados ki aunties is the way they talk. Actually they don’t talk, they Scream!  She would talk merrily about what her husband gifted her, from where she got her imported lipstick and other pompous matters – ignoring the fact that the children may be studying, sleeping or facebooking (even that needs a calmer atmosphere). She would lower her tone as soon as she starts to gossip about another padosan, because even walls can hear, you know. “Mrs. Sharma fought with her husband yesterday” and then she would elaborate about the voices she heard coming out of their home.

It’s hard to ignore them. Everytime you see her, you have to greet her saying “Namastey“, while in your head you might be saying “Aa gyi firse“. You have to maintain your etiquettes in front of her because who knows she might make an issue out of it!  “Mrs. ____ ke bachon ko toh tameez hi nahi hai“, she might declare it in front of other aunties. She can prove dangerous for your family ki izzat. Beware, people!

The writer still wonders if her padosan has some unusual dark powers. Or maybe the writer herself possess such powers due to which she is able to read her mind. 😉